Wishing each day to be over wasn't how I pictured my senior year. I try to take each day as it comes but most days I'm just wishing it was over so I could curl in bed and go to sleep because that's the only time I'm not in pain. I can't even concentrate as I type this because I feel so awful. How am I supposed to get off pain killers when this is how I feel when I am taking them. Olivia my 16 year old sister also has to have surgery, so that is 3 of us that need surgery. Can you blame me if I am a little skeptical for them to have surgery after what I went through? I was told my pain would be reduced by 90% and I have had NONE if anything my neck has gotten worse. Just a slight reduction in my pain would be amazing. Someone at my church asked how I was and I replied good, not that I am. He asked if I still had headaches and I answered everyday. He told me that he doesn't know how I look so happy all the time when I'm in so much pain. I don't know how much longer I can fake the smile, because I definitely don't feel like it. I just hope and pray that the trials my family are facing will pull us together and not pull us apart.